Human Experiment: Hypnotize Me By:

(C) Jodi Temyer of Free Food Press an Online Publication www.freefoodpress.com

When I started thinking about writing this column, I have to admit that I had no clue whatsoever. I didn't want to do anything too outrageous or expensive, but it had to be something that you would actually want to read. After all, I had to at least be as interesting as a trip to the gay bar. Then my selfish side kicked in and I decided that I should do something that I actually wanted to do and would still fit into the category of "human experiment." And that's how I wound up getting hypnotized.

We've all seen people get hypnotized for comedic value. You know, that guy who clucks like a chicken whenever a bell rings or a group of people who think they are exotic dancers when the music starts. It always seems as if they remember nothing, but are willing to do anything under hypnosis. Outside of these crazy hypnotic antics, people actually get hypnotized to fix all kinds of problems. Want to stop smoking? Get hypnotized. Want to lose weight? Get hypnotized. Want to improve your golf swing? Get hypnotized
(seriously!).

I contacted a hypnotist by the name of John Weir who runs the Hypnosis Center for Motivation and Habit Management in Pittsburgh. Being the nice guy that he is, he agreed to do this article with me. I scheduled an appointment, and then a little bit of panic kicked in.

My number one fear was that I would blurt out random secrets about myself, but John reassured me that hypnosis is not a truth serum. I worried that I wouldn't remember anything after coming out, but I worried more that I wouldn't be able to be hypnotized at all.

I had to make a decision on what to be hypnotized for, and I wanted it to be something that would actually (hopefully) impact my life in a noticeable way. I suppose that I could have quit smoking or drinking. I probably should have tried to get past my shoe addiction, but instead I chose to get rid of stress and anxiety. To be quite honest, since I have no desire to let you, a bunch of strangers, into my personal life, I will just tell you this: every now and then for the past several months I have felt very anxious and stressed causing me to clench my jaw, leading to migraines and general crabbiness. I told John all about it before our session and kept my fingers crossed that hypnosis might knock it out of me.

John asked me a series of questions about what makes me feel stressed, how I physically feel when I get anxious, and how I would like to feel. The entire time, I was sitting in the most comfortable leather recliner ever, which was enough to almost make me doze off. I lay back in the chair and our session began. For those of you who are curious, there was no swinging watch..

John put me deeper and deeper into hypnosis, until the point where I couldn't open my eyes anymore. I honestly couldn't believe I went under; I was so busy thinking about what I was going to write in this article. Then it finally happened. I don't know exactly when or how, but I remember thinking, "Holy crap! Am I hypnotized?" John told me that if I tried to open my eyes I wouldn't be able to, and then asked me to try. I couldn't. He then lifted my right arm in the air and said that I wouldn't be able to put it down and that the harder I'd try to put it down the stiffer it would get. He was right. I remember being curious, though, as to whether if I really wanted to - if I really used enough effort - I could open my eyes or put my arm down. The thi ng is, I just didn't want to.

I think that one of the reasons hypnosis came so easily for me was John's voice. I would seriously listen to this guy read biology textbooks on tape as a bedtime story -- it's that amazing. The whole feeling was so calming and relaxing, just like those few minutes before you fall asleep at night but are still aware of your surroundings. However, a nap was not on the agenda and, now that I was hypnotized, it was time to get down to business. One of the first things I remember doing was imagining a basement filled with boxes. Each had a label on it, and they consisted of things like "education," "past relationships," "the job hunt." There were even a few people I gave their own entire boxes to. Next, under John's instruction, I pictured an endless black pit in my basement and one by one threw those boxes down the hole. After all of the boxes were gone I grabbed a broom and swept the place clean. Damn, that felt good.

Our next exercise felt a little more intense to me, mainly because I had to deal with conflicting emotions. John touched my left shoulder and told me to think of a time that I was most calm, happy, etc. As he would tap my shoulder, each tap was meant to give me that feeling. Mission accomplished. Then he moved on to my right shoulder, where with each tap I was meant to feel those anxious, stomach-tightening bad feelings. After I was feeling sufficiently crappy from that, he started tapping both shoulders and made it so that the good feelings overpowered the bad feelings, and no matter what shoulder he tapped I could only feel the calm, happy stuff.

I think my favorite part of the hypnosis was one of the last exercises we did, and that was meeting my future self. John had me picture myself with all the stuff that makes me anxious taken away. I had an awesome job, a much better apartment, I could afford all the shoes I wanted and still pay my bills. Then I had to take myself now, and go up to my new self and congratulate her. So I told her she rocked and gave her a big hug. That was about it for my hypnosis, but right before I came out I think I remember something John saying something about the color red. I am kind of fuzzy on this part, but I have since painted two of my living room tables a fire-engine variety.

When I came back to the real world, I felt like I had taken an eight-hour nap in 20 minutes, but the session actually lasted over an hour. I left John's office, got into my car and realized that I became a whole new person! I never in a million years would have thought that the hypnosis would actually take, at least not this well. That night at work I had a table of screaming children and trashy parents who took 20 minutes to decide what flavor of wings they wanted. And you know what? It didn't even faze me! I just kept smiling. The next day, I had a million things I thought I needed to do, but if I wanted to just sit down and relax for a minute, I did just that. It didn't make me feel anxious like it usually would. A few days later I was on the bus trying to get to work and there was construction. This delayed my trip by a good 20 minutes, making me very close to being late for work. I didn't care. The amount of anger and frustration that normally would have piled up inside of me -- at the bus driver, at the construction workers, at the police controlling the lights -- it just disappeared.

Even last night, one week later, as I was starting to write this article, a gigantic SUV backed (hard) into my Beetle while it was parked...then took off! While I did run screaming outside cussing them out as they drove away, I didn't do that when they decided to come back. I was cool and laid back.

It's almost like there are times when my mind is telling me that I really should be anxious right now, but when my body tries to feel that way it just gives up. It won't happen. Now my only worry is that my hypnosis is like a good drug that might wear off any day.

Jodi Temyer recently graduated from the University of Pittsburgh with a B.A. in English writing and English literature. She is currently living in Pittsburgh while working as a freelance writer and part-time waitress. She loves good food, even better beer and shoe sales. Suggestions, comments and letters of admiration can be sent to joditemyer@gmail.com.